Been thinking about the “boring vs. spicy” discussion with respect to the fediverse/Mastodon vs. other more-established services, and I’ve been examining my reaction to it, which is to question why folks think “spicy” is desirable as a baseline. It occurred to me then that perhaps spicy is their daily baseline–when assuredly it isn’t mine. My reality isn’t seeking conflict for entertainment, nor is it my reality that I’m immersed in constant conflict whether I’d want it or not.

After some reflection, I have to concede that my privilege was such that I didn’t realize that my ability to retreat from conflict can be construed as massive privilege. Just a minute or two of thinking about it made me realize that, no, many people in the world have no ability to get away from others’ perceptions and judgments, that they’re immersed in them regardless. If, unlike me, someone’s entire worldview is different than mine with respect to the role and presence of conflict in their lives, then a place like the fediverse that seeks to minimize it in many corners would seem odd and perhaps even unwelcome.

I think I get it. I’m not sure what the way forward is. I want to be inclusive and welcoming, but I wouldn’t want changes that make me feel unwelcome as a result. I’m hoping we can have a bigger tent, but one that I still have a place in.