I think it’s possible to hold the somewhat opposing thoughts of realizing you’re never going to do an increasing number of things, but at the same time having future plans and being excited for them. I don’t mind looking at the probable number of summers I have left (I use my late father’s age for a meter stick) to instill a sense of urgency. It’s not like I plan to drop dead right when he did, but I had a heart attack earlier than any of the males in my family. The over/under for me is now less than twenty.

It reminds me that I shouldn’t be putting things off indefinitely the way one does when life seems to stretch on and on past the horizon. Instead, I am trying to get a sense of whether I’ll do some of those things at all. Those I’m letting go of, and other things are going to get calendared and done.